Aug 7, 2013

Fear

Fear of the unknown or something dark that is beyond ones comprehension is well known to us. But fear of possibilities and imagination, how does this fit into our construct?

As I grew up, I had difficult time every night calming my mind down to go to sleep. It would not stop imagining things that were so vivid that sometimes it would convince me that these things could occur and I would look to ways to how I would deal with them. The most prominent vision out of many was that my ceiling opening up to a strong force. I never thought of this force to be evil or driven by someone. It was just a force and I would be sucked into it to go in a journey beyond my wildest dreams into the infinity. I never saw myself getting hurt or being in trauma of any sort. The only scary part was the journey itself and the fact that I was never returning back to this world!

So how would I deal with such idea? My child mind only could think of holding something that would come along with me, something that would be my friend in this journey. My choice was obvious, a pencil. For understanding my decision you should know that most of my waking hours was spent in scribbling and drawing. I thought I could kill boredom and time of any magnitude had I got a pencil with me. And it was easy to go to sleep with a pencil on my hand too, a practical choice perhaps.

After decades of those eventful nights, I don’t exactly remember when was I stopped being bothered by these thoughts. Nevertheless, I did acquire something from that phase of my life as I have evolved to a man of today. I still look at inanimate objects lying around in my room as my friends. It’s very pleasant surprisingly and may be that is why I enjoy my solitude more than anyone could think of. As one of the enlightened one have said, seek joy in your solitude for it is those times where one learns more about oneself.

Jul 29, 2012
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